It seems like its been forever since I've posted... Ok. So it HAS been forever. School, training and life totally got in my way. But that would be an excuse, so really its just that I haven't made posting a priority. I haven't really made eating right and being careful a priority either. Sigh. Now the guilt sets in. Guilt about eating that cheeseburger, guilt about eating those fries, guilt about the milk shakes and the chocolate and the brownies and the list could continue. I've been off of my eating plan for close to three weeks, and for some miraculous reason have not gained a ton of weight. However, I'm disappointed with myself. I run 5 days a week and do weight training for at least 3 of those days. I ride horses and I burn tons of calories each day. Since I am spending all of this time burning calories, why am I so quick to put them right back on? I am so frustrated with myself. So very frustrated.
When I am running, I feel like a winner. I feel strong and sexy and driven. But when it comes to food, its like I have no control. But I must just be letting food win. I must be giving it that control. I have control in other areas of my life and I make good decisions in those areas. I have stuck to my half marathon training plan, I force myself to work hard during each run even though it sometimes scares me, I force myself to have good form while lifting and to lift weights that are challenging. And then I go and fail to plan my meals. I fail to plan my schedule. I fail to plan things that effect my weight loss. I dont know if I will ever figure out why I do this, but I know how to pick myself up and continue on my journey.
I got lost on Pintrest this morning. I found dozens of pictures and quotes and just good thoughts. I found before and after pictures from girls just like me! And then I got sad. I got sad that I gave up and sad that I didnt think I could do it.Then that sad feeling melted into sheer determination and a new lease on my journey. Pintrest has inspired me and people have inspired me and I have inspired myself. I have come so far since I started and even though it has taken me a lot longer, I am proud to be where I am. Now I just need to keep moving forward.
So here's to staying determined, getting back on the wagon, and going after what you want. I WILL be healthy. I WILL feel better. I WILL be who I am supposed to be.
Will you?
-Charity
I am beginning to really believe the phrase "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail". Must begin planning!! I need to get to my race weight...
